Becoming a Manager Isn't a Promotion. It's a Career Change.

I've watched three talented engineers at my startup take management roles in the past two years. Two of them are miserable. One just quit to go back to being a senior IC at a smaller company, taking a pay cut to do it.

Here's what nobody told them: becoming a manager isn't a promotion. It's a career change.

We've all absorbed this mental model where management sits "up" on the ladder and staying technical means "staying put." This framing is garbage. It's left over from the 1950s when companies had exactly one way to reward good work: give them people to manage.

That world doesn't exist anymore. Top tech companies figured this out years ago. But most engineers, especially early in their careers, still carry this outdated assumption that technical leadership without management is some kind of consolation prize.

I'm writing this because I spent six months last year seriously considering a management track. I did the research, talked to staff engineers and engineering managers who'd switched both directions, and built a framework for making this decision. Spoiler: I stayed IC. But the point isn't what I chose. The point is how I chose.

This isn't a "management is bad" article. Some people genuinely thrive managing teams. But if you're asking "should I become a manager or stay technical," you need better tools than gut feeling and social pressure.

The Energy Audit: A Framework for Identifying Your Wiring

Before we talk about money or titles, let's talk about what actually drains you versus what fills you up. I call this the Energy Audit, and it's the single most useful exercise I did during my decision process.

For one week, track your work in two columns:

Energy Gains: Tasks that left you more energized after completing them Energy Drains: Tasks that left you depleted, even if you did them well

Be honest. Don't write what you think should energize you. Write what actually does.

My list looked like this:

Energy Gains: Debugging a nasty race condition. Pair programming on architecture decisions. Writing documentation that I know will save someone hours. Building a proof-of-concept for a wild idea.

Energy Drains: Facilitating meetings where I couldn't contribute technically. Navigating interpersonal conflicts between teammates. Context-switching between five different projects in one day. Explaining the same decision to multiple stakeholders.

Every single item in my "drains" column is core management work. That's not a coincidence.

When I talked to engineering managers who genuinely love their jobs, their energy patterns were inverted. They lit up talking about coaching conversations, organizational design, clearing blockers. What about the deep technical work they used to do? They described missing it, but not in a desperate way. More like missing an old hobby.

IC pattern: Energized by depth, mastery, building. Drained by breadth, coordination, people navigation.

Manager pattern: Energized by leverage, team growth, system design at the human level. Drained by individual contributor work they could delegate.

Neither pattern is better. But ignoring which one matches you? That's how you end up hating your job.

Salary Reality Check: IC vs Manager Compensation at Different Company Tiers

Let's talk money, because the manager vs individual contributor salary comparison isn't what most people think.

At startups and mid-size companies, first-line engineering managers often make less than senior ICs. Seriously. A Staff Engineer at a Series C startup might pull $200-250K total comp, while an Engineering Manager at the same company makes $180-220K.

Why? IC comp at senior levels is primarily about scarcity. Great Staff Engineers are harder to find than adequate managers. The market knows this.

A rough breakdown based on conversations with recruiters and my own research:

Startups (Series A-C):

• Senior IC: $150-200K
• Staff IC: $150-220K base (with equity making up a larger portion of total comp, varying significantly by location and company)
• Engineering Manager: $170-230K
• Director: $150-250K base (total compensation including equity varies widely by function, location, and company stage)

Mid-tier Tech (Shopify, Stripe, Datadog level):

• Senior IC: $200-280K
• Staff IC: $280-400K
• Principal IC: $350-500K
• Engineering Manager: $250-350K
• Senior EM: $320-450K

FAANG/Big Tech:

• Senior IC (L5/E5): $300-400K
• Staff IC (L6/E6): $400-600K
• Principal IC (L7): $600-900K
• Engineering Manager: $350-500K
• Senior EM: $500-700K
• Director: $700K-1M+

Notice something? The IC track at big tech companies goes absurdly high. Principal and Distinguished Engineers at Google or Meta can out-earn directors.

Management premium kicks in at the director level and above. Below that? It's often a wash or worse.

Money as your primary motivator? Staying IC is completely viable. You just need to be at a company that values it.

7 Signs You Shouldn't Become a Manager (And What to Do Instead)

Based on my conversations with engineers who tried management and came back, plus managers who wished they hadn't switched, these are the warning signs:

1. You took the role because someone asked, not because you wanted it. Being asked feels flattering. But "they offered" isn't a reason. It's an event. Did your internal reaction feel more like "I guess I should" than "finally"? That's data.

2. Your mental model of management is "coding plus some meetings." New managers consistently underestimate how much the job changes. You won't code. Maybe a prototype here or there, but sustained technical work? Gone. Pay attention if losing that feels like losing a limb.

3. You're running away from something about IC work. Burned out on your current codebase? Frustrated with your tech stack? Management won't fix that. You'll just be burned out while also navigating performance reviews. Change teams or companies instead.

4. You hate ambiguity in your work. IC work has clear feedback loops. Code either works or it doesn't. Management feedback is muddy, delayed, and often contradictory. You won't know if you're good at it for months, sometimes years.

5. You're doing it for the title or salary. See the comp data above. Money isn't meaningfully better until director+. And "Manager" only impresses people who don't work in tech.

6. You get your identity from being the technical expert. Managers who stay too technical undermine their teams. Does stepping back from being the smartest person in the room sound painful? You'll struggle.

7. You've never actually done the work. Lead a project. Mentor an intern. Run a working group. Try management-adjacent work first. When those feel tedious rather than satisfying, you have your answer.

What to do instead: Push toward Staff Engineer, tech lead roles, or architecture ownership. Talk to your manager about how to grow your career without managing people. Your company doesn't have this path? That's a company problem, not a you problem.

The Graceful Decline: Scripts for Turning Down Management Without Hurting Your Career

So you've decided management isn't for you, but your company keeps pushing it. How do you decline gracefully without looking unambitious?

What worked for me and others I've talked to:

Script 1: The Redirect "I really appreciate you thinking of me for this. I've given it serious thought, and I've realized I want to double down on my technical depth for the next few years. I'm interested in growing toward Staff Engineer. Can we talk about what that path looks like here?"

This works because you're not saying no to growth. You're redirecting to a different kind of growth.

Script 2: The Honest Assessment "I've done some reflection on this, and I don't think I'd be good at the parts of management that matter most. Engineers who'd report to me deserve someone who's genuinely excited about developing them. That's not where my strengths are right now."

Riskier, but it works with managers who value self-awareness. It shows maturity, not weakness.

Script 3: The Timeline "I'm not ready for this yet. I want to get to Staff level as an IC first and build deeper expertise. Management opportunity in 2-3 years? I'd be more open to considering it then."

Use this if you're genuinely unsure. It buys time without closing doors.

Key principle in all of these: have a clear alternative. Don't just say what you don't want. Say what you do want. Managers hate ambiguity. Give them something to work with.

Staff Engineer vs Engineering Manager: A Side-by-Side Comparison of Daily Life

Deciding whether to stay IC often comes down to what you want your days to actually look like. Unfiltered reality:

Morning (9am-12pm):

• Staff Engineer: Deep focus time on a technical proposal. Maybe one architecture review meeting. Mostly uninterrupted.
• Engineering Manager: Three back-to-back 1:1s with reports. Slack messages piling up. Reviewing a performance improvement plan.

Afternoon (1pm-5pm):

• Staff Engineer: Pair programming with a team wrestling a tough problem. Code review. Maybe an interview.
• Engineering Manager: Sprint planning. Cross-team coordination meeting. Writing performance reviews. Answering escalations.

Stress profile:

• Staff Engineer: Deep, focused stress. Big problems, but usually one at a time. Stress resolves when you solve the problem.
• Engineering Manager: Distributed, ambient stress. Many small problems simultaneously. Stress rarely fully resolves because new issues constantly emerge.

Growth trajectory:

• Staff Engineer: Technical depth, systems thinking, cross-team technical influence. Path leads to Principal, Distinguished, or architecture roles.
• Engineering Manager: People leadership, organizational design, business alignment. Path leads to Director, VP, or CTO.

What success feels like:

• Staff Engineer: "I designed a system that handled 10x our traffic without anyone noticing."
• Engineering Manager: "I built a team that ships great work even when I'm on vacation."

Neither is objectively better. But one of these probably sounds more appealing to you. Which one?

Finding Your Path: Companies With Legitimate IC Tracks and How to Evaluate Them

Not all companies with strong IC career paths actually honor them. Telling the difference:

Green flags: ICs at Staff+ level regularly speak at company all-hands. Technical decisions require sign-off from senior ICs, not just managers. Comp bands for Staff/Principal actually overlap with Director+. You can name ICs at the company who've been promoted recently. Interview loops include Staff+ ICs as decision-makers.

Red flags: "We have an IC track" but no one's on it above Senior. All architecture decisions flow through managers. IC promotions to Staff+ happen only when someone threatens to leave. Most senior ICs have all been there 10+ years (no recent path). Reorgs always result in ICs reporting to newer managers.

Companies known for strong IC tracks:

• Google (L7+ ICs are genuinely influential)
• Stripe (strong engineering culture, IC-heavy leadership)
• Netflix (fewer levels, but ICs carry real weight)
• Datadog, Figma, Linear (smaller but IC-respecting)

Questions to ask in interviews:

• "What percentage of your Staff+ engineers were promoted internally vs hired?"
• "Can you tell me about a recent technical decision led by an IC rather than a manager?"
• "What's the comp band overlap between Staff Engineer and Engineering Manager?"

Cagey answers? You have your answer.

What Finally Unstuck Me

The IC vs manager choice isn't permanent. It's reversible. People switch directions all the time.

But instead of making a blind leap, test it first.

Considering management:

• Week 1-2: Ask to lead a project with informal authority over 2-3 engineers. Not a tech lead role, something more coordination-focused.
• Week 3-4: Shadow your manager in 1:1s (with permission from both parties). Sit in on a performance calibration discussion.
• Throughout: Track your energy. Are you drained or energized?

Considering staying/going IC:

• Week 1-2: Take on a gnarly technical problem that requires deep focus. Protect your calendar ruthlessly.
• Week 3-4: Write a technical proposal or RFC that requires influencing without authority.
• Throughout: Track your energy. Does the depth feel like freedom or isolation?

After 30 days, you'll have actual data about how each path feels. Not speculation. Not other people's opinions. Your own lived experience.

And look, maybe you try management and hate it. That's fine. Senior ICs who did a stint as managers are incredibly valuable. You understand both sides. That's not failure. That's information.

The only real failure is staying stuck in indecision, or worse, taking a role you hate because you thought you were supposed to.

You're not supposed to do anything. You're supposed to figure out what kind of work makes you come alive, and then go do that.

So which experiment are you running first?

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Arjun Patel is an ML Engineer based in Toronto who writes about AI tools, career decisions, and the realities of working in tech. He chose the IC path after a thorough decision process and hasn't looked back, though he reserves the right to change his mind in five years.